When Your Emotions Are Not Your Own
Like viruses, emotions are contagious. Whether in-person or online, between two people or a crowd of thousands, the emotions of one person can infect others. Known as emotional contagion the affect can be inspiring or destructive. When my daughter and I attended a talk by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, a quietude descended over the audience as he emanated a palpable serenity to the far reaches of the arena. On the other hand, shared resentment can become so overwhelming that people engage in uncharacteristic behavior — such as when peaceful protesters erupt into a violent mob.
Emotional Contagion
Even before we have the ability to speak, emotional contagion influences relationships that are key to our survival. Studies have shown that when a mother feels anxious her infant exhibits the physiological symptoms of stress. By our first birthday we adapt our behavior based on social cues; if mom is in a foul mood, babies respond with wariness. As we mature, this subconscious emotional sensitivity allows us to connect with a mate and the other members of our tribe.
The downside of emotional contagion is when we cannot distinguish our authentic emotions from negativity that we absorbed from someone else. We may find ourselves sad or angry for no apparent reason leaving us clueless how to resolve our feelings. The Emotional Contagion Scale (ECS) measures our predisposition to catching five emotions from others: sadness, fear, anger, happiness and love. According to the ECS, you may be more susceptible to emotional contagion if you tend to cry at sad movies, tense up when you overhear other people arguing or forget your troubles in the presence of a happy person.
Filtering Out Contagion
In Healing Touch training I learned to ground myself before every session. When I attune with a client the energy of their emotions seeps into my field. Once when working with a client hospitalized with a life-threatening condition, I detected a pervasive sense of dread. Grounding enables me to release these sensations as they arise. At the conclusion of every session I disconnect from the client before cleansing my field of any residual energy still clinging to me.
While empaths are particularly susceptible to the emotions of others, everyone should know how to clear their field. The technique that I have adopted involves filtering out contagion with a virtual net. Begin by lifting your arms above your head and spread your fingers wide. Imagine a net stretched between the fingers of each hand. With fingertips pointed toward you, slowly draw your arms down both sides of your body while repeating to yourself, “I release anything that is not mine.” Intend for your imaginary net to trap any extraneous emotions that don’t belong to you. When your hands reach your knees sweep them outward away from you and shake them off. Repeat two more times or until your field feels clear. Practice this technique periodically in addition to when your emotions feel out of alignment.
A Pathway to Healing
Sensitivity to the emotions of others is a valuable social skill as it enables us to forge energetic bonds with the people in our lives. At the same time we want to shield ourselves from emotional burdens that are not ours to carry. When it comes to managing anxiety, we want to distinguish between stress that provides personal insights versus stress that we inadvertently picked up from someone else.
While we cannot escape exposure to the animosity and fear broadcast by news outlets and social media platforms, we can practice energetic hygiene by expelling energy that is not ours. The beauty of emotional contagion is that we can raise the vibrations of others when we radiate our inner joy. We can tap into our inherent ability to spread healing by emanating our own wellbeing.
References
Frontiers in Psychology, July 2021
Psychological Science, Jan 2014
Psychology Today, Oct 2012
Shield Yourself
Watch this video to earn how to create an energetic shield to protect you from unhealthy emotions radiating from others.
Energy Cleansing
In this meditation we shake off the emotional debris and reset our perspective.
Spread Healing
In this metta, or loving kindness, meditation we radiate healing to ourselves and others.
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